Friday, June 3, 2011
~ Why do boyfriends/girlfriends cheat? ~
Well everyone has that one U(@*()&%Z0398755 ( LOL nicest way I can put it ). Anyways, Why do they do this? The answer is this- Revenge/Jealousy ( only because you did that to them ), they want more/ not given enough, or lastly a habit. I will explain in detail each step and their thought process. Let's say you guys are dating, it seems perfect and you love each other, then you find out he or she cheated on you. It's not that they don't love you, or lied about loving you, they just wanted more. Why did they hide it from me then? Well because you are the closest thing to perfect to them, and didn't want to lose you. Let's say you had majority what they were looking for, but didn't give them enough sex ( could be more things like attention or whatever they feel lacked of), they believe they are entitled to have both. That is the average cheat. Now heres the accident one- that one night stand or whatever considered cheating to you, and only did it once, that goes back to saying you lacked either attention to give them, Sex, etc you name it. But they let it go out of control. I say for future relationships if they not perfect standards leave them, your in for a heart break. Do not accept anything less than your expectations. It is like this.... 100 dollars is your soul-mate, and rest of money- 99 and beneath are close ones to your soul-mate or no where near. Which one do you prefer? Don't settle for anything less, if you spend to much time with wrong person, your right one will slip away. Anyways back to the explanation- I just finished up explaining about ones that love you and on accident cheated etc. The reasons above are why, don't accept them back, your in for another heartbreak. No matter how much you love them, they will do it again. You weren't perfect enough for the first time, you sure aren't for the second. Now next I don't need to go into detail of revenge, because you know well enough what you did to trigger it. Furthermore, lastly is a habit. That one person must of broke their heart really bad, or they cheated and loved that person very much and after you or whoever it was, they feel no one could ever be as good as him or her and just get their own simple pleasure of attention and/or sexual pleasure. That is the main thing people want. These people will never stop, or turn gay/lesbian and want a change. Once a cheater usually always is unless a huge opposing force, (could be their loss of their main love/ almost perfection) and change their ways to never cheat. These are the reasons for cheating or thoughts of cheating. Need any more advice about cheating/cheaters, or more descriptions, send an email to me. Or even tell me what extra things I can add to this blog, you may leave a comment as well. ~BLOG BY JESSICA~
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(grandechacho): I think you got a good point here, but I guess I'm more optimistic of the nature of human behavior. I don't necessarily believe once a cheater always a cheater. I think karma will just come around and bite them in the ass. Bet one day the cheater will come across a girl/guy they will adore and give up anything for, and that girl will just be another link in the chain of cheaters to come into people lives break off and become attached to another. The cheater would probably then realize he's been a pile S&%@ with their partners in the past and hopefully be a better match to the next person he/she makes a relationship with. Or they could just go out on a rampage of one-night-stands that leads to the eventual creation of an unknown flesh-eating STD of which proves fatal to their lives. In my mind, however, I believe the humanity pulls through overcoming the animalistic behaviors and the cheater becomes a new person.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I agree that cheaters cheat because they are looking for something desirable that is missing from their current partner but in addition, I think it's that idealization factor when one first meets a new person that is a possible match for him/herself. This is one of the things I've realized when I have been in relationships. When you first meet someone, before your relationship has started, without even knowing it your created a fantasy in your mind of how your life could be with this person. Once the relationship starts, and you've had time to spend with your new partner, you begin to notice that it's not all as it had seemed in your head. At this time, you're either thinking about compromise or simply doubting your part in the relationship. I think this is the point at which a person must have a nice sit down with their partner and talk about their future so they can mend out the doubt. I bet 9 times out of 10 this doesn't happen, however, and the eventual cheater will believe he/she is doing right by their partner by not telling thinking it might just be "their problem". Then the "cheater" will begin another fantasy with a different face and find him/herself in the arms of another. That's the process I'd go with anyways, if I was a cheater. :P
yes like I stated above something has to trigger them to be a normal lover again. You made very good points, and all of this is correct to that one type of person. I listed 3 main types of ways they cheat. Jealousy/revenge, Not enough whatever they wanted such as attention or sex, or a in my blog above habit.. I am not going to retype all of that in this box thought.. hahah.
ReplyDelete"I don't necessarily believe once a cheater always a cheater." - correct but the source of change to not cheating is not typically going to be because someone cheated on them, its going to be because whatever need was not satisfied in the prior relationship becomes satisfied. people that chronically swing or cheat are simply never satisfied.
ReplyDelete" I think karma will just come around and bite them in the ass." - doesn't have much to do with the topic
Ah like I said to him above... An opposing force can change them...... -.-....
ReplyDeleteyour 12:15 post didn't show up when i started writing
ReplyDeleteWell refresh haha
ReplyDeleteAhh I noticed some typos.. But.. Deal with it :P
ReplyDeleteyeah, DEAL WITH IT :)
ReplyDeleteYOU D:!
ReplyDeleteThen there is the reason that I cheated because my wife had two abortions and closed me off from communicating with me so that I could get closure and move as well. She kept telling me there is nothing that needs to be talked about and that our relationship was ok, but I needed closure. For her the abortions meant nothing but relief. She already had two kids from a previous relationship and, although, she promised me a kid, I feel now she didn't want to have one with me. I found clarity in mind after cheating on her. There are not many out there who can reason their actions in a way to figure out the personal question to ask one's self so that cheating doesn't happen again -- If you want what on the other side of the fence to find greener pastures, will you be able to handle you decisions if when you look back and see that you were in the greenest pasture already and find out that you can't go back and not regret your decision? For me I found out going back is impossible. Even if you do make it back, it will be to a place that may never look the same or feel the same. But most of all, there is the symptom of regret. Regret is knowing you made a mistake and cannot go back and fix it without going through a great deal of hardship and pain. It is better not to have regret so you can move forward. Did I solve anything by cheating to open her eyes? I found I was truly in love once she moved out and went for another. But now there are some good things to come out of it. The way I loved her was like nothing she has ever been able to find again. Plus, I was kind to her in the same ways as well. She calls me every-now-and-then and tells me she misses me. Would you believe it, recently she called me to tell me she wants me back? We married in 2004, separated in 2006, divorced in 2009, and now she wants to get me back in 2011. If I got back to her, cheating caused 5 years of misery. But I will say that I did suffer long and hard while we were separated and I did learn my lesson. She however cheated as well, and I found out that she was doing things like chatting and seeing nude parts of people while chatting and making it look like she was naked. That to me is cheating. Plus dating online and talking to men who believe you are single, that is also cheating. Cheating is in short, doing anything without your spouse/partner that if he or she finds out, will cause pain to that person. So if you want to avoid cheating, ask yourself, will my actions right now, hurt her or him, and if yes, then don't do it.
ReplyDeleterevenge is a pleasure for me. Honestly you are right it won't remain the same, shes desperate for you because you were the one showing it all, and all guys only showed a little bit extra she wanted then quit. When all of it fails, she ran back to one who gave them the most.
ReplyDelete